Robot Zot!
Jon Scieszka
Illustrated by David Shannon
For Pops
—D.S.
For Don Q.
and Sancho P.
—J.S.
“Robot Zot—
Wham Bot!
Robot Zot—
Bam Bot!”
“No one stop Robot Zot.
Robot Zot crush lot!”
Robot Zot strikes. He crashes his
Attack Ship into the heart of the
dangerous Earth Army.
Zot howls his brave battle cry:
“Robot Zot—never fall.
Robot Zot—conquer all!”
Zot leaps to the attack.
“Take that!”
beeps Zot.
“And that!”
boops Zot.
“And that!”
bleeps Zot.
Zot defeats them.
Every one.
“Affirmative.”
Zot challenges Earth's shiny Captain.
“You are looking at Zot, tough guy?”
Zot blasts the Captain.
The Captain blasts back, then blows a fuse.
“Robot Zot—Hot Bot!”
Zot scans the battlefield. He is glorious.
He stands victorious.
But then, from the upper level of the Earth
Fortress, a foul challenge rings forth.
“IS YOUR BREATH NOT SMELLING AS FRESH AS YOU WOULD LIKE?”
“You say what?” beeps Zot. “Prepare to battle!”
“MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY LEMONMINTPINEFRESH!”
“Maybe you should shut transmission sender,”
growls warlord Zot.
Zot fights his way through the coils of another
Earth monster to get at the insulting enemy.
Zot challenges his
gigantic foe.
“Aha,” says Robot
Zot. “Who is talking
large now?”
“ONE QUICK SPRITZ IN THE MORNING … ”
“Stop transmission. Or Robot Zot will wham your bot.”
“AND YOU ARE GOOD FOR—”
“Zot was not joking.
Zot is never joking.”
Zot blasts into another
bunker. And there he sees
her. The most amazing Earth
person … ever.
Zot knows that she is the
Queen of all Earth.
Brrring, brrring! rings the
Queen.
“What?” asks Zot. “Earth
Queen held captive? Needs
Zot's help to escape?”
For the first time ever,
Zot feels something more
than war in his machinery.
“Mama,” growls the evil guard on her left.
“Dada,” warns the scary sentry on her
right.
Zot freezes. Even Zot is scared.
Zot says what he has never said.
“Wow. Even Zot is scared.”
“Maybe leave? Just go home now?
Mission over?”
Brrring, brrring! rings the Queen.
The terrible guards fall on her.
“Wait. What is Zot? Chicken Bot?”
“No!” he booms.
“Zot must be
Hero Bot!”
Robot Zot does not fall.
Robot Zot conquers all!
Lionhearted Robot Zot rescues
his Queen.
They blast and shoot and wham
and bam and battle their way back
to Zot's ship.
Zot sings his victory song:
“No one can stop
Robot Zot!”
No one except …
… Earth's most fearsome Commander General.
And there he stands—right between Zot and his
Queen … and their Attack Ship.
“Stand back!” cries brave Zot.
“Woof!” answers the dreadful General.
“Zot means business!”
“Woof! Woof!” the General insists.
The Queen blinks. It looks like all is lost.
“No!” beeps Zot. “Zot computes a fantastic plan. Plan
is … ummm … well … ahh … errr … Zot will stay and
fight. Queen and Best Pal Bot will escape to safeness.”
Zot strikes his most intergalactically magnificent pose.
“Remember Zot—Hero Bot.”
“Woof, woof!” roars
the horrible General.
Zot booms his last,
most gallant battle cry.
“Hero Zot—never fall.
Hero Zot—conquers all!”
“Yipe!” cries the Commander General, and …
… he disappears. Once again, Zot is victorious.
“Robot Zot—Brave Bot!
Robot Zot—Hero Bot!”
And so Robot Zot and his Queen zoom off
to distant galaxies to bravely save more days.
“Wham Bot!
Always Robot Zot.”
The End
Jon Scieszka, Robot Zot!
(Series: # )
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